It's been a month since I updated my blog,
due to shocking heartbreaking exam result I receive when I was back in Malaysia,
I put a halt on my blogging activities.
The reason is for me to keep myself calm and not too think too much.
a lot been going on, I stayed in Malaysia for only about 2 weeks and I was back in Belfast by 11th September. I failed one of the module from my exam, to be precise my resit, and I was to face the School Student Progress Committee just to discuss as in why I fail and the consequences for that.
So the next day I was suppose to meet my lecturer to go through my paper. I failed the module that combine Treatment and Disease and although I got 62 points which is actually above passing mark of 50, however the mark is not balance between Treatment and Disease.
I did well in Treatment but bad in Disease. So I was suppose to see the Disease lecturer but too bad she is not working with Queen's anymore and I only get to see the Treatment lecturer, which to be honest does not help much since he just say that I improve in Treatment. What is more heartbreaking is when I get to know that I need only another mark to pass the Disease element... '-.- however by then I was already 'redha' that I have to repeat the year.
So during the meeting, I was calm and passive and I was in acceptance.
The fact the school provide a support letter does make me feel better, but the fact that I 'lost' a year... it is hard. It is harder when I always bump in course mate who pass the first year and knowing that I'm not in the same class anymore.... it is sad I can't deny it. Then I just join the first year class, *sigh* again, well at least I only need to repeat one module *so less exam*.
Telling my close friend even friends back in Malaysia put me at ease as well with their support and even the freshers' who are technically my classmates now, they are cool too.. I guess
*ego senior*
However I was moving on until MARA London Director come down to Belfast, actually Belfast is 'fofular' lately even the High Commissioner come here from London... meeting 'big' people... is awkward... *smile* , but I enjoyed it. The Director talk to me about this matter. I was supposed to contact her as soon as possible, she said MARA could have helped me plead to the school. I regret that I keep it to myself.
The solution is unknown... who knows what would happen to me especially in the final year. I might not get funds to continue my study, and following new policy I might can't continue here at all. However, I'm just praying hoping MARA will give me a chance. Student loans is a serious shit. I can't say anything anymore except that I should be ready at any time... just in case. Insyallah, I get through this.
It's been a wild month since I updated the blog, the freshers' are here and there are more of them and I enjoy getting to know them. Being involved with the Sambutan Pelajar Baru under QMC was a great experience and does put my mind off thinking about the same sad thing over and over again.
Other than that I find challenges when I lost my 'junior' tittle and really get to know some of people here are fake... 'bermuka-muka', 'tikam belakang'... how wrong am I to believe that these people get along with the other people in Belfast. Now I know why there are some 'random' 'weird' fellow Malaysian (I might say Malay/Muslim as well) exist in Belfast, and may I say they belong to this one pact, 'pakatan'...
*I want to say organisation, but I believe it's unfair to the Organisation itself*
.... awkward...
*trying not to hate in order to prevent myself from being bitchy*
other than that, I did get sick and tired of some people ignoring their responsibilities and people who knows me, know what happen when I get serious...'-.-
dahlah aku tengah berkabung sebab kena repeat year, boleh pula selamba badak ambil kesempatan.
Ignorance!
But it's ok now, I feel much stronger, I realize to never give a shit about people who step all over you and finally never deceived by people's appearance... *haihhhh nak je mencaci orang-orang tu kat sini... tapi tak pelah... not my blogging style pun.
Since I join the QMC committee I feel... I don't feel anything actually except furious and stress.. haha!! but it is understandable, we were in a slump from summer... but since last night I believe everything will be ok and it will get better.
So that is all for now, will keep updating again... and continue my travel post from summer... *I know it is almost winter, but maybe reminiscing about my summer trip make the winter this year feel warmer, *
