home.... cheering myself...

warning: this post might be depressing

I returned to Malaysia two days before raya, and it hasn't been a week since I am in Ampang...

It is more saddening when I realized I might have to go back to Belfast earlier than expected...

now, first of all I am to stay in Malaysia less than a month but now it seems it will be shorter...

As some of people out there may know, I had to resit a few (three) examinations from my first year, I just got my result a few days ago... and it is DISAPPOINTING...

I failed... again...

what is more depressing I scored higher than the module passing marks, but I failed one of the element, there's no compensation for this module so even though I did well on the other element, failing one element lead to fail of the whole module...

what is more saddening is that there is SIGNIFICANT improvement in marks for these modules that I resit, including the one I failed...

I would say I feel less wronged if I score about 50...

nevertheless, nowadays I just go crazy cracking my head thinking of how to face the School Student Progress Committee.... this is the reason of why I have to go back earlier.

I am also stressed thinking the fact that I suddenly have to think *and spend* about flight tickets...

I might always talk about positive thinking, but actually I'm quite pessimistic...

*that's why I always talk about positive thinking... to cheer myself*

so I'm feeling depressed now... I can't even really enjoy the break I have now...

So posting this on my blog is just to remind myself... nothing has been decided yet...

so 'be strong'...

My usual self would post about all the worst case scenarios that could happen due to this event... but I will restrain my self to remain positive

*although I can't deny all these thought are on my head everyday*

whatever it is, it's not the end of the world.