It's been a month, tired... *just noticed, my 100th post*

It's been a month since I updated my blog,

due to shocking heartbreaking exam result I receive when I was back in Malaysia,

I put a halt on my blogging activities.

The reason is for me to keep myself calm and not too think too much.

a lot been going on, I stayed in Malaysia for only about 2 weeks and I was back in Belfast by 11th September. I failed one of the module from my exam, to be precise my resit, and I was to face the School Student Progress Committee just to discuss as in why I fail and the consequences for that.

So the next day I was suppose to meet my lecturer to go through my paper. I failed the module that combine Treatment and Disease and although I got 62 points which is actually above passing mark of 50, however the mark is not balance between Treatment and Disease.

I did well in Treatment but bad in Disease. So I was suppose to see the Disease lecturer but too bad she is not working with Queen's anymore and I only get to see the Treatment lecturer, which to be honest does not help much since he just say that I improve in Treatment. What is more heartbreaking is when I get to know that I need only another mark to pass the Disease element... '-.- however by then I was already 'redha' that I have to repeat the year.

So during the meeting, I was calm and passive and I was in acceptance.

The fact the school provide a support letter does make me feel better, but the fact that I 'lost' a year... it is hard. It is harder when I always bump in course mate who pass the first year and knowing that I'm not in the same class anymore.... it is sad I can't deny it. Then I just join the first year class, *sigh* again, well at least I only need to repeat one module *so less exam*.

Telling my close friend even friends back in Malaysia put me at ease as well with their support and even the freshers' who are technically my classmates now, they are cool too.. I guess

*ego senior*

However I was moving on until MARA London Director come down to Belfast, actually Belfast is 'fofular' lately even the High Commissioner come here from London... meeting 'big' people... is awkward... *smile* , but I enjoyed it. The Director talk to me about this matter. I was supposed to contact her as soon as possible, she said MARA could have helped me plead to the school. I regret that I keep it to myself.

The solution is unknown... who knows what would happen to me especially in the final year. I might not get funds to continue my study, and following new policy I might can't continue here at all. However, I'm just praying hoping MARA will give me a chance. Student loans is a serious shit. I can't say anything anymore except that I should be ready at any time... just in case. Insyallah, I get through this.

It's been a wild month since I updated the blog, the freshers' are here and there are more of them and I enjoy getting to know them. Being involved with the Sambutan Pelajar Baru under QMC was a great experience and does put my mind off thinking about the same sad thing over and over again.

Other than that I find challenges when I lost my 'junior' tittle and really get to know some of people here are fake... 'bermuka-muka', 'tikam belakang'... how wrong am I to believe that these people get along with the other people in Belfast. Now I know why there are some 'random' 'weird' fellow Malaysian (I might say Malay/Muslim as well) exist in Belfast, and may I say they belong to this one pact, 'pakatan'...

*I want to say organisation, but I believe it's unfair to the Organisation itself*

.... awkward...

*trying not to hate in order to prevent myself from being bitchy*

other than that, I did get sick and tired of some people ignoring their responsibilities and people who knows me, know what happen when I get serious...'-.-

dahlah aku tengah berkabung sebab kena repeat year, boleh pula selamba badak ambil kesempatan.

Ignorance!

But it's ok now, I feel much stronger, I realize to never give a shit about people who step all over you and finally never deceived by people's appearance... *haihhhh nak je mencaci orang-orang tu kat sini... tapi tak pelah... not my blogging style pun.

Since I join the QMC committee I feel... I don't feel anything actually except furious and stress.. haha!! but it is understandable, we were in a slump from summer... but since last night I believe everything will be ok and it will get better.

So that is all for now, will keep updating again... and continue my travel post from summer... *I know it is almost winter, but maybe reminiscing about my summer trip make the winter this year feel warmer, *

home.... cheering myself...

warning: this post might be depressing

I returned to Malaysia two days before raya, and it hasn't been a week since I am in Ampang...

It is more saddening when I realized I might have to go back to Belfast earlier than expected...

now, first of all I am to stay in Malaysia less than a month but now it seems it will be shorter...

As some of people out there may know, I had to resit a few (three) examinations from my first year, I just got my result a few days ago... and it is DISAPPOINTING...

I failed... again...

what is more depressing I scored higher than the module passing marks, but I failed one of the element, there's no compensation for this module so even though I did well on the other element, failing one element lead to fail of the whole module...

what is more saddening is that there is SIGNIFICANT improvement in marks for these modules that I resit, including the one I failed...

I would say I feel less wronged if I score about 50...

nevertheless, nowadays I just go crazy cracking my head thinking of how to face the School Student Progress Committee.... this is the reason of why I have to go back earlier.

I am also stressed thinking the fact that I suddenly have to think *and spend* about flight tickets...

I might always talk about positive thinking, but actually I'm quite pessimistic...

*that's why I always talk about positive thinking... to cheer myself*

so I'm feeling depressed now... I can't even really enjoy the break I have now...

So posting this on my blog is just to remind myself... nothing has been decided yet...

so 'be strong'...

My usual self would post about all the worst case scenarios that could happen due to this event... but I will restrain my self to remain positive

*although I can't deny all these thought are on my head everyday*

whatever it is, it's not the end of the world.

Spring Summer Trip and Conquest of Europe, Kelana Convoy 2: Bath and Cambridge

So this is the 2nd post about my trip last spring/summer.

After two days of running around London, that evening we head to Bath for Stonehenge tour.

What I remember most about this two places (Bath and Cambridge) is the hospitality we received while we were there.

Did you know that Bath has one of the most expensive properties, and I totally understand why. Their neighbourhood is really nice, giving a 'old age' feeling... and romantic.

So in Bath we stayed at a friend's house, oh I don't who she is, and while we were there, she wasn't there. But her housemates were, and they are Bruneians.

How very nice of them to still let us stay at their home. We arrive late night and straight heading to bed, have to get ready for tomorrow tour to the Stonehenge.

Although, I couldn't deny I was distracted by some matter... however, thank God it does not ruin my mood the next day.

Bath Abbey

*Forgot the pictures of the Roman Bath

It was really nice walking around Bath and everything is 'classic' looking and there's no contemporary architecture. We took a look *just look* at the Bath Abbey, the Roman Bath and took a whole lot of pictures at the Royal Crescent.... Too bad, I don't use my camera and the people with the pictures haven't email me mine yet... until now... '-.-

*it's not like I would upload their pics... at least give me my pics... huh!

The Royal Crescent has a very nice background, totally worth picture taking.

There are other places that you should visit at Bath, but I didn't get a chance

- The Roman Bath - I didn't enter it, it was suppose your must see if in Bath

- Jane Austin Centre - especially if you're a fan of Pride and Prejudice

Well, at least we went to Stonehenge

The tour we join is called Scarper Tours, 14.00 pounds for student.

The tour bus picked us near the Bath Tourist Information Centre.

The journey to Stonehenge took about *I can't remember,

but I swear it was more than an hour.

Throughout the journey, we went up and down hill, with the tour guide explaining to us how expensive are these houses on hills, how Johnny Depp used to live there.

Then there's talk about crop circle and that most of the lands belong to the Ministry of Defence.

So there's many army barracks and if you're lucky, you get to see tanks around in the field.

*we were lucky to spot a few*

Then, we arrived at the Stonehedge... it was MAGNIFICENT seeing it closer... as nice as we see it on the postcards and in internet.

There is of course many legends surround the Stonehenge, about Merlin and Giants... there is even about alien stuff *crop circle?

The main point is, it looks magnificent!

not pretty but magnificent.

*running out of adjectives here*

If you're notice the cloud, yes, it was raining... heavily!

I believe I took a pretty good shot of this... hehe :p

Let just skip the night and straight on to how we were in Cambridge.

We visit the Campus... we can't enter some of the public places due to exams...

To me, there wasn't really anything interesting in Cambridge

except a bunch of HOT *I'm serious when I say HOT* guys promoting punting. I guess it is popular there...

one of the punting promoter HOT guy been to Indonesia and he suddenly talks Malay/Indonesia to us... but thank God for my bad Malay slang and accent due to my Kuala Lumpur/Ampang upbringing, that guys didn't notice that we talk about him behind his back... Talk about KL, I remember how he said he hate KL because he can't really understand what we were saying, eventhough he understand Malay, he's annoyed...

*hmmm... am I suppose to be offended? haha!*

but to be positive, he said he love Zouk, because the drinks cost less,

ok,

To make most of my time, K Peepot and I joined this Ghost Tour just for the fun of it, walking around in the 'dark' listening to ghost stories...

how silly of us to forget, that during that time, the sun set at about twenty to nine.... and the tour was at 7, I think... hahaha!

How awkward was it, trying to feel fear, listening to ghost story in the broad DAYLIGHT... funny... but you know how tour guide have the knack to make everything seem fun.

Again it was raining...

worst... we don't have a place to stay for the night... and there are no close by Bed and Breakfast... and we thought about crashing the bus station, but the bus station is just an outdoor stand... there's no indoor... haaaaaa....

Then, we went to the Mosque... we changed into dry clothes... and later we were informed that there is a talk that night... *Something like Kuliah Wahyu here* Prior to that, we get to know there is a nearby Chicken Cottage... I was HAPPY...

*of course I braze into the rain and still got the chicken, nyum nyum!*

We get to meet the muslim community there, we told them our situation that we are on a 3 weeks trip and that tomorrow we joining a European tour,

and tonight we can't find a place to stay

I remember this one sister said "You are CRAZY!!!"

unconsciously, I reply, "I know we are"...

then one of the sister talk to her husband to talk to the Mosque Administration about our situation. We were lighten up by hope of staying in the mosque for the night.

Then it is known to us that actually the mosque is combine with a school... and that they let us stay in the classroom... *Only Allah knows how grateful we were that time*

Not only that, they offer us heating and hot shower, and even offer food... All praises to Allah that lead us to meet these people.

We parted that night, and get ready to sleep... the next morning we catch the bus back to London to join Kelana Convoy's Conquest Of Europe...

Ps: Like I said, I was pissed and annoyed that I didn't really get to see much in Bath and Cambridge, but the fact we get these hospitality from strangers, it is really a nice memory.

Simple Regeneration Age Resisting ~ Antioxidant

I'm not sure since when, but somewhere around two years ago *I was in KMB, I suddenly realize the need of antioxidant skincare. Prior to that, I am very strict about sun protection (it has to be at least SPF 30+ and most important PA+++) and this was due to UVA danger and increase chances of getting premature aging on skin or worse cancer *but I most worried about the former.

So this is not just the fear of becoming dark and tanned, I'm already dark anyway by genes.

At that time I was using Simple Light Moisturizer which I choose because I just want a simple light moisturizer to balance my skin with benzoyl peroxide (Acne topical treatment), and I was not interested of added benefits such as brightening or shine-control. However, as usual, I was too absorb looking into skincare articles, I felt as if it was a calling, to get moisturizer with antioxidants.

So antioxidant is very recommended to combat premature ageing. Antioxidant inhibit oxidation, the process that naturally occur within our body while ageing but oxidation can speed up (pre-mature ageing). Of course we still get antioxidant from our diets *fruits and veggies however experts claims that less that 10% of the antioxidant we eat reach the surface of our skin and that topical antioxidant is more potent on skin surface.

One of the popular good antioxidant ingredients in skincare would be GREEN TEA. So if you see green tea in your skin care, that's good. Other normal ingredient that provide antioxidant as well are Vitamin C and E, Co-enzyme Q-10 (popular in antiageing product). However as science advances, so is ingredient with potent antioxidant, such as White Tea or they would come up with antioxidant complex such as one in Clinique Super Rescue Antioxidant Night Cream or the Even Better Dark Spot Corrector *I can't remember the name, it was long time ago.

ok, I am very sorry about the long post on antioxidant, so I should get to the review.

Sadly, at that time I can't afford Clinique stuff or other high end product.

Fortunately, Simple come up with this range Regeneration Age Resisting that targets pre-mature ageing. And guess their active ingredient? GREEN TEA.

From Simple :

SKIN LOVING NUTRIENTS
GREEN TEA EXTRACT fights premature ageing
MUSHROOM EXTRACT & GINKO BILOBA refines and regenerates
SHEA BUTTER & BORAGE SEED nurtures and replenishes
OAT-BETA GLUCAN & CHAMOMILE reduces sensitivity and soothes
VITAL VITAMINS
PRO VITAMIN B5 and VITAMIN E to soften, smooth, and improve skin condition

Other than having the GREEN TEA extract, I also like that it has refines and regenerates properties, which are very important for me, especially when I always get acne. Although I was worried about the shea butter since it can aggravate acne-prone skin. At first I bought the Night Cream, which was about RM 30-40 *I can't remember exact price. So this is definitely a steal compare to high end product that would cost RM 100-200 or more.

During use: It is so much better than using the Light Hydrating Moisturizer, which does nothing other than moisturize. The Age Resisting done a better job at moisturizing actually. I wore at night with my benzoyl peroxide routinebefore sleep and wake up with fresh face the next morning, no flakiness. Little product goes a long way, doesn't need to load my skin. Plus, my skin react well to it, no flare up or sudden outbreak *shea butter in it did not bother my skin. The texture is not lotion-like but more of butter-balm like but my skin still felt comfortable. It has no strange smell and the packaging pump is good.

Satisfy with the Night Cream, after I finish my Light Hydrating Moisturizer, I went to get the Age Resisting Day Cream, which was good as well. Active ingredient are the same although they put some SPF in it. I guess good for those who don't wear sunblock. This one, the texture is more cream-like, and it does give a bit of 'white cast' due to the sun protection properties. Again, I was happy, it does not aggravate my skin. Alright, I can't actually see the process of antioxidant in both cream on skin, but it was better. Even the feel is much more comfortable and it doesn't give funny reaction when I wore it with my benzoyl peroxide.

verdict: 4/5

There's definitely no significant changes in my skin , but there was subtle improvement *more smoother.

I would very much recommend to individuals that want to step up their regular moisturizer but does not wish to spend too much . Note that this product does not combat lines and wrinkles. Simple products as usual has no fragrance, no smell, no 'unnecessary and affordable. Well, this one is quite expensive for a drugstore brand but it is still affordable.

PS: As you all know, I had converted to Origins skincare a few months ago. I just want to have a try on high end product and there was nothing wrong with Simple Age Resisting. l definitely post a review Origins in the future as well.

Spring Summer Trip and Conquest of Europe, Kelana Convoy: London

OK, I've be missing in action all this while and it's not because of fasting, it is because I want to focus on my studies. I had some fails from last exam and I have to resit it. As much as I want to blog about stuff, I was pretty nervous about m resits... so it's the same like when I kept blogging away during exam season last May. However I just finish this morning and practically faint at the sight of bed. I just realize it's past the last 10 days of Ramadhan yesterday when I go for taddarus. I have to try my best in these last days. Finally I will be going back to Malaysia, Ampang this Saturday. Am I excited? to be honest, not really... sorry mama.

Alright I though I would just pass blogging about the trip I had about 2 months ago, but I can't. There's a lot of happening and the fact that I practically become poor when I'm back from the trip, I just could not give this trip a miss. This is my 3 weeks spring summer trip.

So Conquest of Europe is a budget package from Kelana Convoy. It covers a lot of place. I joined this tour, to be honest on impulse. So I was quite unprepared financially. That's not good.

Of course I just brave myself throughout the tour, I guess it's better to spend more and experience things than just burning the few hundreds I had spend on.

We went to London a few days before the tour start. I thought about checking out London, since I never had a chance to step of Heathrow before. Being on the bus on the way to Victoria, I just realize how much I miss the sight of city *note that I am from Ampang and Kuala Lumpur is like 5 minits from home. I had notice that Belfast is not actually a city *metropolitan and I am not

bothered, it is just, it is so apparent when I visit bigger city like London. The same thing happen when I visit Dublin last time. Just looking out of the window of bus, I was thinking, 'maybe, I do miss home?' ... haha! The fact it was blazing hot summer makes it feel more like KL, despite the Big Ben.

We check in to the Malaysian Hall at Bayswater, well, I am not sure if there are other cheaper accomodation. But Malaysian Hall cost about 10gbp per night for undergraduate. The room is nice I guess, I never stayed in a budget hotel or hostel in UK so I can't really compare. I did notice some roaches in the toilet *it's been a while since I see one.

Another thing I was introduced to is the London Underground. COOL! You know, for a daughter of one of KTMB engineer, I do appreciate an efficient train system and Underground is one of it.

By underground only we can get to almost all places, Arsenal, Heathrow and Greenwich and many others. Did I mention that all the interesting site *tourist site have a station, so it is very convenient and cheaper for tourist. Of course it could not defeat the atmosphere if we're a bus.

At first, in Victoria Station actually, with the crowd and complicated map, I was nervous, and I wasn't really paying attention to what station we were at. But 1 single day all it takes to get the hang of the the underground system *actually less than that... I mean for me who wasn't that enthusiastic about the underground. It just show how much we went on and off the train. I would like to provide what station for what interesting site, but it's been a while and I am tooo lazy just to search it, I did save the map and brochure of places we went to... but I think I throw it when I moved.

After checking in to Malaysia Hall it's straight to sight seeing.

(now I can't really remember what we went to first so I just put pics randomly)

Big Ben and House of Parliment or Westminster Palace.

Royal Albert Hall and Hyde Park

Mind me for not having a camera and the fact that I forgot to bring my charger make picture taking very minimal.

We also went to check out Imperial College Campus, Science Museum, Trafalgar Square and National Gallery, Harrods, Madame Tussauds, Ripley's Museum, Shaftesbury Avenue and Oxford Street.

Science History - Listening Post (Art project)

We pretty much visiting as in 'touch and go'. We barely go in to these places. *we enter the Science Museum and Ripley's. So this fact kind of annoy me... but I just calm myself thinking there's always a next time. Oh not to forget the Buckingham Palace. Even in the scorching sun rays, I did enjoyed walking around even if in the hot. As you all know my skin is relatively dark and tanned and I an avid sunblock wearer so standing in the sun wouldn't ruin my day.

Trafalgar Square and National Gallery

Ok, so it does take a while before my post reach Kelana Convoy Tour... but this is a start. hehe.

Back in Belfast

Ok, I just got back two nights ago... a lot of things to think about, not to forget a lot of surprises...

and I am officially moved in to my new house...

and by now I realize a lot of stuff in my house *that I am not that please about...

I don't have study table and study lamp as well *it's quite important since the light in this is quite damp and yellow.... my dryer quite suck... I'm not sure how to arrange the furniture in my kitchen to make it look nice... *tired from moving couch... I haven't unpack yet, I got library books that need to be return....haaaaa...

whatever it is, I am pleased being back in Belfast, with familiar surrounding and weather...

Oh, it was unexpectedly very sunny the last three days, however, it was raining yesterday morning..

PS: Still got something going on my facial skin... but the drying especially on the forehead was not so bad, it suddenly got better when I got to Italy during my trip... which was unexpected... *am I born for weather in Italy, but it is confirmed that the havoc on facial skin is not due to sunburn.... however I did burn and tan a bit, but not so bad... since I am dark in the first place, thanks to my serious sunblock slapping...

However I did forgo sunblock on my hands and feets... *just for fun I guest, I want to see how far it will burn and tan... IT WAS QUITE BAD...

I remember wearing strappy sandals and now I got some light stripe in my foot... which are very funny to look at... haha!

Can't wait to blog about my trip and the tour I join, Kelana Convoy,

Moving Out ... halfway,

Finally, I moved out from Queen's Elms,

I couldn't believe it but it was my last night two days ago...

I will be missing you Elms, having a nice big kitchen, a big clean fridge, my private toilet and my large room.... ~~

Not to forget my dearest hallmates, Charlotte, Amy, Viviene, Iulia, Jade, Lyndsay and Jenny.

I did have a good time living with you guys and thank you for everything and being understanding and all.

I hope even if we bump into each other at Queen's, don't ignore each other *although we never did before except the medics

However staying at Queen's Elms would always be in my memory.

So I just moved out halfway, meaning I haven't moved into my new house at Ulsterville Avenue.

I am going for a trip tomorrow and be back at early July.

I am actually quite worried if I have not enough money or I get too tired... but I really hope for the best.